Thursday, September 23, 2010


Mary Frances Bradshaw

How do you say good-bye to someone you love with your whole entire heart? Someone who has been a part of your life since the day you were born. How do you let go of someone so dear to you that it physically hurts when you think about it? Then how do you go on with life when the slightest thought of them brings instant tears? How do you keep it together for everyone around you when all you want to do is crawl into a hole and never come out? How do you explain to your children why you are so "sad"? And then how do you explain to them where "white" grandma is?

I've never done this before. I'm not very good at it so I'll just say this... You don't say good-bye, you say "I'll see you soon". You don't ever really let go either. You deal with the pain for awhile and then carry their memories with you, forever. You go on with life, tears and all, because you have to. Because you do have children and because you know that that is EXACTLY what they would have wanted you to do. You keep it together for all the "outsiders" but for those few who are dear to your heart, you let them help you. You let them pick you up off the floor and out of that hole because that is why they are in your life. And one day, they will need you to do the same for them. You tell your children exactly why you are sad because they do actually understand what is going on. You let them know that even though you are so sad, its OK because you're happy too. No more suffering, no more heartache, no more pain. And then you tell them that "white" grandma went back to live with her Heavenly Father. That she is whole again and that one day we'll get to see her!

Words cannot express the love that I have for this woman.
She is a rock. She is a wife, a mother, a grandma, a great-grandma, a friend, a saint. She was positive and wise. She was hilarious and charming. She was mean. ;-) She was honest. She loved with her whole heart. She was talented and generous. She was caring and she was thoughtful.
She IS everything I would like to be.
Gram, I love you so much and will miss you more than anything.
Until now and then, til I see you again, I'll be missing you, Love Me


chanel said...

oh sweetheart I am so sorry! I need to call ya, but for now know you're in my prayers. I too loved your gram! She was the first cussing mormon I knew, and I loved her for it! There are still many a times when I let some slip and I think it is ok, cause mary did it, and you know she's all good. She was just all round cool. FUNNY and fun and REAL! She was a great influence in my life, so I can only imagine HOW wonderful and amazing it is to be her granddaughter- you're a lucky girl with a wonderful legacy to pass along to your kids. I love you.

Jennie said...

So sorry to hear about your Grandma. I will be thinking of you!

Love, Jennie

Adri and Cory said...

I am so sorry for your loss! It is such a hard thing to go through! You hit it right on the head, you let them go and carry their memories with you forever! And write them down too! She sounds like such an amazing must run in the family!