Thursday, September 23, 2010


Mary Frances Bradshaw

How do you say good-bye to someone you love with your whole entire heart? Someone who has been a part of your life since the day you were born. How do you let go of someone so dear to you that it physically hurts when you think about it? Then how do you go on with life when the slightest thought of them brings instant tears? How do you keep it together for everyone around you when all you want to do is crawl into a hole and never come out? How do you explain to your children why you are so "sad"? And then how do you explain to them where "white" grandma is?

I've never done this before. I'm not very good at it so I'll just say this... You don't say good-bye, you say "I'll see you soon". You don't ever really let go either. You deal with the pain for awhile and then carry their memories with you, forever. You go on with life, tears and all, because you have to. Because you do have children and because you know that that is EXACTLY what they would have wanted you to do. You keep it together for all the "outsiders" but for those few who are dear to your heart, you let them help you. You let them pick you up off the floor and out of that hole because that is why they are in your life. And one day, they will need you to do the same for them. You tell your children exactly why you are sad because they do actually understand what is going on. You let them know that even though you are so sad, its OK because you're happy too. No more suffering, no more heartache, no more pain. And then you tell them that "white" grandma went back to live with her Heavenly Father. That she is whole again and that one day we'll get to see her!

Words cannot express the love that I have for this woman.
She is a rock. She is a wife, a mother, a grandma, a great-grandma, a friend, a saint. She was positive and wise. She was hilarious and charming. She was mean. ;-) She was honest. She loved with her whole heart. She was talented and generous. She was caring and she was thoughtful.
She IS everything I would like to be.
Gram, I love you so much and will miss you more than anything.
Until now and then, til I see you again, I'll be missing you, Love Me

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I officially feel old. How do I have a 5 year old? It's crazy!
No more toddler. Just this sweet, sweet "boy".
He's a little kid. I don't know how I feel about it. :-/

Let me tell you a few things about this "kid"...

- Oh man, do I love him!
- He HATES to be in trouble and really is such a good boy!
- He loves his sister, Hiley!
- He would eat pizza all day, everyday if I let him!
- He's kind. For example: "Hi, mom. How was your sleep?"
- He LOVES to play with his friends. And again would play ALL day and night if allowed!
- His favorite treats are oreos and well, anything sweet really!
- He does not like dogs.
- He loves his grandmas (and grandpas!) but mostly grandmas! ;-)
- He is totally into super heros right now!

Well, like I said above, I just love him so much. He's just a cool, laid-back kid.
He's had his share of melt-downs but they are few and far between and I am so grateful for that.
I am even more grateful that he is mine.
I love you Benson Boy.
I hope you had a good birthday!
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